Ugh…I have this sick feeling in my stomach. Like that feeling you get when you know your parents found out about that forbidden boyfriend…except mine is the feeling you get when you think that someone you love is hurting you. A friend once told me that a woman’s gut feelings are usually accurate. If it walks like a duck and quacks like a duck, it is a duck, she’d tell me.
So here’s the deal. Remember how I said in an earlier blog that I am having trust issues with my fiancee? For some reason, it’s really bad today. I just have this weird feeling. Like he did something today that he shouldn’t have…like…I don’t know. It pains me to know that this man that I love, that I want to pledge my life to, the one who has promised me the world, has given me reason more than once to doubt him and his promises and word. I want to trust him so badly. I want nothing more than to be able to put all past occurences behind, but how?
I guess I have nothing left to do but tackle the situation, right? after all, what good is complaining and crying about it going to do? That isn’t going to get him to open up to me. It isn’t going to stop the evasive and secretive things he does. I still don’t get it, though….
A while back, he said something to me…
“I promise that I will let nothing in this world hurt you. I won’t hurt you. Please trust me when I say this, babe…:
Funny how he seems to have forgotten all that.
